there's this thing

see, there's this thing i've been worried about ever since i came home for semester break a week ago. it's a very important thing that i screwed up on a MAJOR scale. actually i'm not worried about it so much as i'm scared about how i would tell my parents about it. more specifically my mother. she would definitely kill me for it. which is why i'm so scared. it's all my own fault anyway, so i should just own up to it and face whatever it is might happen if i told her, but that still doesn't change the fact that i'm scared.

i mean, you get me right? who's not afraid of their mother? yeah. thought so. god, i dunno. i have it planned out already in my head. what i'll do to deal with it. financially, that is. but i have no idea how i'm gonna break it to her.

AAAAARRRGGGHHH~!!!!

we'll just have to wait and see. in a week i'll find out just how bad the situation is and how i'll have to say it to her.

see you soon! (if i live to tell you about it. TT^TT)

assalamualaikum.

i feel sad now.

i just read this over at allkpop.

Heechul visited Kangin at the army.

누구보다 내편이 돼주고 “형아 형아” 애교만점인 영춘이ㅋ “그냥 웃고 즐기며 살고싶어~ 요즘들어 아무도 없고 기댈곳이 없다” 란 내말에 연신 “미안 형아.. 미안해 진짜..” 거리는 겸디영춘. 내새끼임ㅋ

translation:

More than anyone else who's always on my side, master of aegyo, YoungChoon. I said to him, “I just want to laugh and enjoy my life~ Lately, there’s nobody around and nobody to lean on.” He responded by saying, “I'm sorry hyung-ah.. i'm truly sorry…” He's my little boy.

cr: GhostWriter@allkpop

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i actually teared up a bit reading that. i mean, as if it's not enough that i miss the guy so much, the way he apologized to heechul like that. aigoo~ breaks my heart. TT^TT

i feel sad for heechul too. i mean, hankyung and kangin were the go-to-buddies if he needed someone to talk to or someone to drink with. these three were the closest to each other than any other members in the group. he took it the hardest when these two left. aishhh~ sad feeling this one. very sad.

anyways, i sure do hope that when he comes back from the military duty, people will accept him with much forgiveness.

that's all. thanks for dropping by.

assalamualaikum.

THE END........finally.

this is way overdue and i've kept it in my draft for quite a few days now, but imma post it up anyways. the conclusion to this stupid thing i got into like, a little over a week ago. so... things have ended and cooled down and i just want some closure and a final word. where else would i do it other than my blog? not like anyone actually reads my blog so, ok. on with it.


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her final response.

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and my answer?

okay, you're angry at me. but how is that my fault??? in the first place i never insulted your intelligence nor did i insult you as a person. you thought i did and got irritated by it and thus, is completely your own fault. also, what is it that i have misunderstood about you? nothing at all. because i never commented abt YOU in the first place. besides, YOU were the one to start all this by assuming. i mean, if there's anyone who is misunderstood here, it's me. again, i would like to say, and i cannot stress it enough, that my statements were never a judgement of YOU specifically. it was a statement made abt the children's over-obsession with a culture. it was an issue we were discussing. it was never about the people. at least not directly. you were the one who suddenly barged in and made it all about you when it wasn't. again, you were just a coincidental example of the issue being discussed at the time. a fleeting judgement, if you may. yet you assumed it was a personal attack when it wasn't.

you got in way over your head and made that response post. lol. at first i was of course baffled by this reaction and then i got a bit pissed because YOU are the one who took my words and twisted it so completely out of context, i can't even begin to explain what i really meant with what i said. and you responded so rudely at that. pretending to act nice with words like 'sorry' and 'saranghae' and 'thanks' yet the entire post was bleeding with snootiness and sarcasm.

prior to your post, i never thought of you as a bad person. i didn't hate you nor dislike you at all. sure, i thought your posts were annoying. but even so i never let it be a judgement against you as a person. i may laugh at the things you write but never at you. yes, you might have felt it that way because what you write or post is somewhat a reflection of you as a person, but trust and believe me when i say that it wasn't like that at all. yet you thought it was and lashed out at me. not only that, your friends came in and so rudely intervened in something that was not of their concern.

it didn't help that the timing of everything was wrong and we had our misunderstanding while you and your friends were involved in another fight with someone else whose identity you didn't know. and then you blamed ME for being that person. and not only me. you guys went on psychotic rampages over anyone you suspected to be the person when you had absolutely no solid proof whatsoever! not only blaming me, but calling me names and such. that was when you crossed the line. after that everything changed. that was when things, for me, got personal. because i never passed judgement on you as a person yet you did so behind my back while pretending to be nice in front of me. using foul words and your friends had the audacity to come at me with their false and ridiculous assumptions. i HATED you for that and my opinion of you as a person completely flipped. srsly. even thinking abt it now, gets me pissed.

even your apologies weren't sincere. i mean, if you were sincerely sorry would you continue to say the things you said in your last post? as if it were MY fault that you got yourself into this mess and involved me in it? nuh-uh, girl. but i accept the apology anyway.

oh and before i forget one last thing?? the truth you're talking about? yeah. the truth will always stand tall. and you, girl, are nowhere near the truth. so, apology finally accepted and good riddance.

p/s: screencapped her shoutbox. at that time, she cleared it out. how convenient.

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assalamualaikum.

peace.

THIS IS THE BEST! [UPDATED]

to my readers... i'm sure you are aware of the drama i've been involuntarily thrown into these past few days. this is a new revelation on the issue. korang nilailah sendiri ye? kau baca apa yang aku tulis di SINI dan SINI. keep in mind, that my comments were indeed harsh but not untrue. believe me. and kau compare betapa talam dua mukanya mereka ini.

btw, i need to clarify that at the time that these girls made the posts, 1) they thought i was nani of whom, is a COMPLETELY different person than i am, 2) they were involved in a massive childish battle with a certain INHAE whom pisses even ME off to no end, and 3) they misunderstood every single word i said about their blog and took it to a personal level.

korang judge la sdri ye??

imagine the facts here, okay? they don't even really know who this INHAE person is. yet, they confidently bash on me as if i am INHAE? how wonderful!

and shira, i really had a better impression of you. yet there you are. proof right in front of my eyes. kau memang belagak baik. haha. x guna apologize dah. no use. batrisyia (nama sedap gila) i take it back. kau memang ada maki aku. BAJET HOT???????????? FUCK korang memang suci gila lah. kau boleh pi kat page2 membe aku and tanya diorang betapa x bajet hot nye aku? okay?? LOL! and you girls say I'M the one who bash on you?

btw, i really was a hopeless bookworm when i was 13. i really had no life. i studied all day and all night. aku lagi budak lompat lah dulu. imagine i had to take tuition classes for standard 4&5 for the same subjects back to back in the same day every weekend for TWO YEARS! i had VIRTUALLY NO TIME AT ALL for all this KPOP thing when i was younger. DON'T TALK AS IF YOU KNEW ME BACK WHEN I WAS 13 BITCH!! my generation, we had more moral values than you people nowadays.

srsly, you idiots. i'm not gonna accept your stupid apologies. xsah. even tho this was before you realized you had the wrong person, i still won't accept it anymore. btw, akma or whoever the FUCK you are.... go to hell. simpan lah apology you tu. x ikhlas baik xpayah. disgusting.

BODOH!

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[EDIT] to further shed light on the situation, (and proof of just how completely hypocritical these girls are) i will be including more caps of posts by them, intended for me.

this is the post that started everything. she posted this after reading my comments made on naniscribbles. links are provided above. my response to this post made by her?? HERE.

and this is supposed to be her response to my post. notice how nice her words are here? sedangkan kat facebook ayat2 dia macam mana?

judge by yourself. i'm not trying to get anyone on my side. berani kerana benar. korang buatlah penilaian sendiri. kalau rasa aku yang x patut, pls inform me so i know what exactly it is that i should not have done.

if she really intended to drop the issue would she post this? i don't think so.

apologizing to no end. konon2 macam she's the one being victimized here. padahal? see for yourself and compare this to her facebook posts. LOL.

p/s: click the images to read.

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enjoy the show.

peace out.

INHAE

you psycho bitch. stop stalking my blog and using me for your ridiculous agendas. i do NOT appreciate being accused of things i did not do. nor do i appreciate ppl accusing me of being YOU. you are seriously some sick twisted psycho. you need help. STOP trolling the netz. it does not make you cool.

peace.

stay away from me bitches.

AKU BUKAN INHAE KORANG YANG BANGANG TU.

get it right.

aku cakap baik2 sekarang.

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first of all... kau yang salah faham apa yang aku bualkan dgn kawan aku. namanya nani jugak. so jangan confuse. kami x kutuk anda semua. (too late there, skang ktorang da kutuk korang sebab korang yang asked for it.)

what we were chatting about in her post had nothing to do with any of you. maybe just a little bit. but kita x kutuk korang sebagai manusia or sebagai student yang bagus. aku tabik, sebab aku bukannye honor student pun dekat skolah dulu. korang yang salah faham apa kami cakap, then pandai2 gatal pergi buat post sawan tuduh2 kami caci anda. kenapa? intention saya, cakap apa yang saya cakap tu, bukan untuk maki awak. ok?

saya cakap english awak berterabur. yes. pls jangan menolak hakikat ni. itu yang buat saya nak gelak. sebab awak deny. tapi pls faham, saya x pernah cakap english awak berterabur sebab awak bodoh. awak bacalah balik. yes, saya boleh terima human mistake. saya pun manusia jugak so saya erti tu semua. saya x cakap pun awak x boleh buat mistake. saya cakap satu tu je. english awak berterabur tapi it's not horrible. itu je. tapi awak dah melulu dengan x malunya pergi assume saya cakap tu untuk mecaci awak. awak x malu ke?

saya nak awak faham sekarang. yang saya cakap "KPOP related drama" tu bukanlah saya maksudkan post awak pasal drama KPOP. tapi "drama" dalam konteks yang saya maksudkan tu adalah kejadian2 dalam life you seharian. not KPOP drama. see? siapa yang salah anggap siapa sekarang? memang betul pun setiap apa yang awak post tu, awak kaitkan dengan KPOP. awak xperlu deny. kalau ye pun awak x puas hati sangat, apa salahnya kalau awak leave a comment kat post kawan saya tu instead of pandai2 sdiri buat conclusion merepek? kenapa? takut kena sembur? kitorang bukan macam awak fikir ye? kalau awak cakap elok2 xkan kami nak maki2 awak?

dahla. semua tu da lepas. saya rasa x guna kalau saya nak ulang2 apa maksud post saya kat blog kawan saya tu. xguna jugak. sebab awak xkan paham perspektif kami. awak tunggulah lagi 3 tahun, pastu baca balik komen saya. mungkin, then you will understand what we mean.

HOWEVER!! i will not retract my statement about you and SUSC. korang memang masih delusional and saya memang x suka. in fact, saya memang benci. awak spoil minat saya terhadap the 13 boys that i love. awak ingat saya bukan ELF jugak ke? kalau saya sanggup spend beratus2 duit saya untuk album SUJU n pergi concert diorang awak ingat saya pun x berminat dengan SUJU? tolonglah. saya faham tahap obses awak tu. saya memang tersangat faham. yang saya x boleh terima adalah tahap obses berangan awak sampai terbawak2 ke minidrama. ish... xsemenggah la. even kawan saya yang diehard SUJU fan pun geli tau x?

tapi oklah. saya bukan halang pun. saya cuma geli je. saya x suruh awak stop pun minidrama awak yang dah berapa episod tu. teruskanlah kalau itu yang awak suka. saya cuma boleh berharap that you grow out of it. because i can honestly say, it's a waste of time. baik awak spend your talents in writing, on more meaningful things than 'lee minho tercirit bau petai' yes, i read that short part towards the end and i was honestly disgusted. come on, you can't honestly tell me that you can be proud of writing those things?? but again, if you say yes, then i can't really stop you, can i? nor do i want to. not really. i don't even give a crap to be honest. the only reason i talked about it, was because the topic was brought up. so jangan ambil hati lah. there are far more horrible people out there than nani and nani. trust me. when you look back, you'll see that we're not that bad. if you can't handle us, then pray tell, how are you gonna face the big scary world out there? especially the internet world.

okay this final point aku memang bengang gila. kenapa awak nak kawan2 awak tu masuk campur something that's between you and me? mereka tu author SUSC jugak ke? if so, then okay. fine. tapi korang seriously mentally twisted.

saya nak nasihatlah. lain kali.... kalau korang x pasti lagi identiti seseorang tu, x payah la nak berani datang2 maki orang tu x tentu pasal. batrisyia tu, saya masih boleh telan lagi la. at least awak cakap pelan2. tapi si jalang mulut bau longkang "aksh" tu.... kau kalau aku jumpa kau, memang aku tampar mulut sialan kau. berani x bertempat. bodoh sombong. tulah dia.

[EDIT] ohhhh.... baru aku tahu. rupanya si inhae tu dah tipu korang. dia bagi link blog aku kat korang? kesiannye. korang ni memang terbukti kebodohan korang. aku berani bersumpah nyawa dengan Allah s.w.t yang aku x kenal si inhae tulah. BABI aku plak stuck dalam masalah childish korang. pukimak betul. padan muka aku ye? kau ingat aku terkilan sangat? tolonglah. padan muka koranglah da kena maki habis2an dengan si inhae jalang tu. sama je perangai dia dgn korang. xda beza mana pun.

korang ni memang childish la. aku xtau nak cakap apa lagi dah. so salah aku ke, si inhae tu bagi link blog aku kat korang??? kau x terfikir, aku pun boleh menyamar jadik orang lain then main petik siapa2 punya blog address ntuk letak kat shoutbox korang tu?? BODOH la. BODOH. mmg idiotic.

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salam.

woah!!

i never knew my opinion affects people in the most nonsensical ways.

lol. to whom it may concern.... i hope YOU boleh baca post ni dengan hati yang lapang.

kehkeh. let the fun times begin. you'll probably be fuming by the end of this. i guarantee it.

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i xtau kenapa you nak butthurt dengan apa yang i borak2 dgn kawan i, and nak bising2 pasal opinion i on that very GENERAL topic of discussion. maaf la kalau you x boleh handle frank opinions. we have sharp tongues. if you can't take the heat, stay away from the damn kitchen.

tp xpelah. i explain kat you pelan2 ye? you kan masih budak lagi. kesian kat you. this is my reply to you. okay? ^^

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first of all, i never even mentioned ONCE that i was talking about you, kan? xda bukti pun mengatakan aku cakap pasal kau. knapa kau terasa? oh, sebab aku ada describe something similar macam header kau tu ke? kau x terfikir ke mungkin ada orang lain yang ada header macam kau??? apa masalah kau sebenarnya? perasan ke? psycho?? tapi fine lah. since kau dah terkulat sorang2 macam orang gila, i'll be frank. YES. i based my opinions from your blog. puas hati? tapi ingatlah ni ye? i may have based it on yours, but i was speaking of it in general. aku xda follow orang x tentu pasal. aku xda rajin mana pun nak blog-hopping sana sini. aku x aktif blogging pun. lol. in fact, i even forgot about you the moment my friend and i finished our discussion. tapi x sangka ttbe kau yang terkinja2 nak reply post plak. which, fyi, i wouldn't have even known of, had my friend not informed me about it. lol. kau mmg perasan sorang2. kau fikir kau macam important gila ke bagi aku??? haha.

oklah, now that we've established that, kita boleh move on.

srsly, english you x berterabur? and NO ONE, EVER, said your english sucks? wow. bagus kawan2 you semua. lol. um, sorry to say kiddo... but it IS, mmg berterabur OKAY? besides, i did say it wasn't horrible, right? ke, you can't read? add that to delusional and what's there left to describe you as a functional, rational human being?? tolonglah. YOU yg xnk gaduh dgn i plak. WTH. (feeling immature sbb gaduh dengan budak kecik.) the past tense for hurt is hurt, not hurted. but okay human mistake. fine lah. aku accept. so now what? apa point yang you nak bawak ketengah dgn statement tu? apa yang aku cakap mmg straight-forward facts. english kau berterabur. kenapa you nak assume aku imply that you aren't allowed to make mistakes? ada aku cakap english you berterabur sebab you stupid? xda kan? assuming makes an ass out of you and me. my father taught me that. you'd do good to learn it as well.

kenapa? rasa sakit bila ada orang kritik kau punya language skill? ego kau tercalar ke?? sorry ye. masa saya umur awak pun saya xda nak sebut2 'hurted' ni. then suddenly come up with an excuse that you're just human. eh? tadi blagak sangat declare xda orang pernah kata english kau berterabur? bukan apa, english aku pun x perfect lagi. aku masih lagi guna google untuk tahu maksud words yang aku x familiar. tp kau macam...... wow. terbukti terang2an depan mata aku yang english kau berterabur tp kau boleh lagi in denial cakap nonsense bullshit macam, "no one ever said my english sucks. NEVER." eleh. hahaha! klaka la kau budak. jangan bodoh sombong ye??? nanti orang macam aku akn gelak2kan kau. x enak kan this feeling? being laughed at is not fun. yang bestnya, kau boleh plak patah balik nak carik alasan cover balik. eh, bley bla la.

senang cakap... siapa makan cili terasalah pedasnya, dongsaeng-ah. btw, apa plak aku yang create fanwar? bodoh punya statement. my point was that you're too obsessed with SUJU that you even participate in fanwars. as proven by your own posts. apa kena mengena tetiba aku yang join the fanwar ke mende? statement yang sungguh terpesong dari main point. fanwar tu bukan war antara fans abt the group ke? so apa kena mengena aku komen pasal blog kau tetiba jadi fanwar?? ada aku kutuk SUJU? ada aku kutuk ELF? eh, bijaknyelah budak kecik ni.

btw, org blajar pandai mana pun xkan terlepas dari kebodohan. tolong jangan nk start that shit with me. yeah, kawan2 KPOP you smua top 2 in class. and? your point is?? i never said one word about your studies being neglected. all i said was that KPOP was the priority in your life. that doesn't mean that you fail your studies. apa ke bengap? also, you nak ke i buktikan yang posts you tu semua related to KPOP?? nak? pls help me here ppl. are you FOR REAL with that 2posts out of 100posts thingy? kau ada macam penyakit sawan denial ke? maybe this is a severe case?? okay, so you say education is your top priority. fine lah. aku accept. aku bukan kenal kau pun nak deny statement tu. tapi tipulah kalau kau kata KPOP is not your priority kan? ada pernah aku mention yang education tu bukan priority kau? ada? x bukan? so apa yang bising2nya?

and suddenly the fact that "i'm not gonna marry him" makes it alright? so okay la berangan merepek pasal someone that could be your FATHER, as long as you're not marrying him? apakah?? and there you are sibuk2 kutuk pasal SHINee being illuminati lah and all that shit. but being paedophillic is okay? again. what the....???

also, "i'm not really into korean artists, i'm just a BIG fan of SUJU." LOL!!! um, so... SUJU isn't a korean artist? statement kau sudah severely contradictory bukan?? LMAO. don't embarrass yourself with these kinds of statements la ye? malulah. ish.

btw, you can drop your mature act. it's not working. i mean, kau cakap macam baik2 lah kan? konon2 macam kau x marah kat aku ke amende smua. tapi sangat obviouslah yang kau snanyea cam xley bla kan? xpuas hati ngan aku sampai nak buat blog post. ceh. xpayah la. ayat2 kau tu bau busuk dengan denial. puh-lease! malas nak pinpointlah. your entire post screamed of "defensive" okay? tolong. tolong. tollooooonglah. haha^^ btw, i'm not the one butthurt right now. YOU mentioned me in TWO consecutive posts. looks like i'm the popular one here. and xpayah nak thanks2 for the teachings. nak blagak boleh accept criticism plak ttbe. lol. your weak sarcasm does NOT work on me, kiddo. konon nak mengajar aku pulak.

yea it's your blog. lantak kaulah kau nak post apa. that's right and i'm not denying that. does it mean i have to LIKE your posts? NO. aku manusia merdeka. aku boleh ada opinion and in my opinion, i find you a bit pathetic that your life revolves around KPOP. but again, bukannya aku cakap opinion aku ni fakta. this is my judgement based solely on your blog. kalau my judgement salah, then aku terima lah. no skin off my back. my posts pun apa kurangnya? pasal KPOP jugak. aku x cakap being obsessed tu salah. i'm just saying it shouldn't be the priority. lagipun, ada aku suruh kau stop posting about apa yang kau post selama ni? x bukan? i'm just sad that you find nothing else more meaningful to post about on your blog other than KPOP.

you've got a lot more growing up to do, budak.

p/s: i do NOT hate you. tolongggglah. talking about you in ONE post response doesn't mean i hate you, nor does it make you bloody famous. i don't even KNOW you. it was unfortunate, but you were just the coincidental example towards the issue in general. aku x target kau sorang. my comment was aimed towards all delusional kiddies who need to wake up and realize, KPOP should not be your LIFE. and don't worry, i remind MYSELF abt that everyday, too.

p/p/s: aku mmg x follow pun blog kau and aku mmg x tringin pun nak baca blog kau yang aku find delusional and annoying tu. i was referred to it, and my opinion was requested. all i did was skim through the first page of your blog. got a problem with that?? kalau kau ada hak nak post apa yang kau post, then aku pun ada hak untuk form an opinion pasal posts kau. fair enough right?

p/p/p/s: NO. i do NOT find your post offensive. ROFLMAO. pleaselah budak kecik. it takes a lot more bullshits to offend me. i deal with crap like this on an hourly basis. your post was more like funny as freakin heck. lantaklah kau nak fikir aku ni kurang ajar ke, apa ke. i don't owe you anything. btw, if you consider my criticism sebagai cacian, then i'm sooooo sorry. too bad for you lah kan?

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ok, cukuplah tu. memandangkan aku pun da cakap apa yang aku nak cakap, you can go ahead and focus on your studies macam yang you sibuk2 nak declare tu. lol.

assalamualaikum.

peace.