there's this thing

see, there's this thing i've been worried about ever since i came home for semester break a week ago. it's a very important thing that i screwed up on a MAJOR scale. actually i'm not worried about it so much as i'm scared about how i would tell my parents about it. more specifically my mother. she would definitely kill me for it. which is why i'm so scared. it's all my own fault anyway, so i should just own up to it and face whatever it is might happen if i told her, but that still doesn't change the fact that i'm scared.

i mean, you get me right? who's not afraid of their mother? yeah. thought so. god, i dunno. i have it planned out already in my head. what i'll do to deal with it. financially, that is. but i have no idea how i'm gonna break it to her.

AAAAARRRGGGHHH~!!!!

we'll just have to wait and see. in a week i'll find out just how bad the situation is and how i'll have to say it to her.

see you soon! (if i live to tell you about it. TT^TT)

assalamualaikum.

i feel sad now.

i just read this over at allkpop.

Heechul visited Kangin at the army.

누구보다 내편이 돼주고 “형아 형아” 애교만점인 영춘이ㅋ “그냥 웃고 즐기며 살고싶어~ 요즘들어 아무도 없고 기댈곳이 없다” 란 내말에 연신 “미안 형아.. 미안해 진짜..” 거리는 겸디영춘. 내새끼임ㅋ

translation:

More than anyone else who's always on my side, master of aegyo, YoungChoon. I said to him, “I just want to laugh and enjoy my life~ Lately, there’s nobody around and nobody to lean on.” He responded by saying, “I'm sorry hyung-ah.. i'm truly sorry…” He's my little boy.

cr: GhostWriter@allkpop

----------

i actually teared up a bit reading that. i mean, as if it's not enough that i miss the guy so much, the way he apologized to heechul like that. aigoo~ breaks my heart. TT^TT

i feel sad for heechul too. i mean, hankyung and kangin were the go-to-buddies if he needed someone to talk to or someone to drink with. these three were the closest to each other than any other members in the group. he took it the hardest when these two left. aishhh~ sad feeling this one. very sad.

anyways, i sure do hope that when he comes back from the military duty, people will accept him with much forgiveness.

that's all. thanks for dropping by.

assalamualaikum.

THE END........finally.

this is way overdue and i've kept it in my draft for quite a few days now, but imma post it up anyways. the conclusion to this stupid thing i got into like, a little over a week ago. so... things have ended and cooled down and i just want some closure and a final word. where else would i do it other than my blog? not like anyone actually reads my blog so, ok. on with it.


----------



her final response.

----------

and my answer?

okay, you're angry at me. but how is that my fault??? in the first place i never insulted your intelligence nor did i insult you as a person. you thought i did and got irritated by it and thus, is completely your own fault. also, what is it that i have misunderstood about you? nothing at all. because i never commented abt YOU in the first place. besides, YOU were the one to start all this by assuming. i mean, if there's anyone who is misunderstood here, it's me. again, i would like to say, and i cannot stress it enough, that my statements were never a judgement of YOU specifically. it was a statement made abt the children's over-obsession with a culture. it was an issue we were discussing. it was never about the people. at least not directly. you were the one who suddenly barged in and made it all about you when it wasn't. again, you were just a coincidental example of the issue being discussed at the time. a fleeting judgement, if you may. yet you assumed it was a personal attack when it wasn't.

you got in way over your head and made that response post. lol. at first i was of course baffled by this reaction and then i got a bit pissed because YOU are the one who took my words and twisted it so completely out of context, i can't even begin to explain what i really meant with what i said. and you responded so rudely at that. pretending to act nice with words like 'sorry' and 'saranghae' and 'thanks' yet the entire post was bleeding with snootiness and sarcasm.

prior to your post, i never thought of you as a bad person. i didn't hate you nor dislike you at all. sure, i thought your posts were annoying. but even so i never let it be a judgement against you as a person. i may laugh at the things you write but never at you. yes, you might have felt it that way because what you write or post is somewhat a reflection of you as a person, but trust and believe me when i say that it wasn't like that at all. yet you thought it was and lashed out at me. not only that, your friends came in and so rudely intervened in something that was not of their concern.

it didn't help that the timing of everything was wrong and we had our misunderstanding while you and your friends were involved in another fight with someone else whose identity you didn't know. and then you blamed ME for being that person. and not only me. you guys went on psychotic rampages over anyone you suspected to be the person when you had absolutely no solid proof whatsoever! not only blaming me, but calling me names and such. that was when you crossed the line. after that everything changed. that was when things, for me, got personal. because i never passed judgement on you as a person yet you did so behind my back while pretending to be nice in front of me. using foul words and your friends had the audacity to come at me with their false and ridiculous assumptions. i HATED you for that and my opinion of you as a person completely flipped. srsly. even thinking abt it now, gets me pissed.

even your apologies weren't sincere. i mean, if you were sincerely sorry would you continue to say the things you said in your last post? as if it were MY fault that you got yourself into this mess and involved me in it? nuh-uh, girl. but i accept the apology anyway.

oh and before i forget one last thing?? the truth you're talking about? yeah. the truth will always stand tall. and you, girl, are nowhere near the truth. so, apology finally accepted and good riddance.

p/s: screencapped her shoutbox. at that time, she cleared it out. how convenient.

----------

assalamualaikum.

peace.

THIS IS THE BEST! [UPDATED]

to my readers... i'm sure you are aware of the drama i've been involuntarily thrown into these past few days. this is a new revelation on the issue. korang nilailah sendiri ye? kau baca apa yang aku tulis di SINI dan SINI. keep in mind, that my comments were indeed harsh but not untrue. believe me. and kau compare betapa talam dua mukanya mereka ini.

btw, i need to clarify that at the time that these girls made the posts, 1) they thought i was nani of whom, is a COMPLETELY different person than i am, 2) they were involved in a massive childish battle with a certain INHAE whom pisses even ME off to no end, and 3) they misunderstood every single word i said about their blog and took it to a personal level.

korang judge la sdri ye??

imagine the facts here, okay? they don't even really know who this INHAE person is. yet, they confidently bash on me as if i am INHAE? how wonderful!

and shira, i really had a better impression of you. yet there you are. proof right in front of my eyes. kau memang belagak baik. haha. x guna apologize dah. no use. batrisyia (nama sedap gila) i take it back. kau memang ada maki aku. BAJET HOT???????????? FUCK korang memang suci gila lah. kau boleh pi kat page2 membe aku and tanya diorang betapa x bajet hot nye aku? okay?? LOL! and you girls say I'M the one who bash on you?

btw, i really was a hopeless bookworm when i was 13. i really had no life. i studied all day and all night. aku lagi budak lompat lah dulu. imagine i had to take tuition classes for standard 4&5 for the same subjects back to back in the same day every weekend for TWO YEARS! i had VIRTUALLY NO TIME AT ALL for all this KPOP thing when i was younger. DON'T TALK AS IF YOU KNEW ME BACK WHEN I WAS 13 BITCH!! my generation, we had more moral values than you people nowadays.

srsly, you idiots. i'm not gonna accept your stupid apologies. xsah. even tho this was before you realized you had the wrong person, i still won't accept it anymore. btw, akma or whoever the FUCK you are.... go to hell. simpan lah apology you tu. x ikhlas baik xpayah. disgusting.

BODOH!

----------

[EDIT] to further shed light on the situation, (and proof of just how completely hypocritical these girls are) i will be including more caps of posts by them, intended for me.

this is the post that started everything. she posted this after reading my comments made on naniscribbles. links are provided above. my response to this post made by her?? HERE.

and this is supposed to be her response to my post. notice how nice her words are here? sedangkan kat facebook ayat2 dia macam mana?

judge by yourself. i'm not trying to get anyone on my side. berani kerana benar. korang buatlah penilaian sendiri. kalau rasa aku yang x patut, pls inform me so i know what exactly it is that i should not have done.

if she really intended to drop the issue would she post this? i don't think so.

apologizing to no end. konon2 macam she's the one being victimized here. padahal? see for yourself and compare this to her facebook posts. LOL.

p/s: click the images to read.

----------

enjoy the show.

peace out.

INHAE

you psycho bitch. stop stalking my blog and using me for your ridiculous agendas. i do NOT appreciate being accused of things i did not do. nor do i appreciate ppl accusing me of being YOU. you are seriously some sick twisted psycho. you need help. STOP trolling the netz. it does not make you cool.

peace.

stay away from me bitches.

AKU BUKAN INHAE KORANG YANG BANGANG TU.

get it right.

aku cakap baik2 sekarang.

----------

first of all... kau yang salah faham apa yang aku bualkan dgn kawan aku. namanya nani jugak. so jangan confuse. kami x kutuk anda semua. (too late there, skang ktorang da kutuk korang sebab korang yang asked for it.)

what we were chatting about in her post had nothing to do with any of you. maybe just a little bit. but kita x kutuk korang sebagai manusia or sebagai student yang bagus. aku tabik, sebab aku bukannye honor student pun dekat skolah dulu. korang yang salah faham apa kami cakap, then pandai2 gatal pergi buat post sawan tuduh2 kami caci anda. kenapa? intention saya, cakap apa yang saya cakap tu, bukan untuk maki awak. ok?

saya cakap english awak berterabur. yes. pls jangan menolak hakikat ni. itu yang buat saya nak gelak. sebab awak deny. tapi pls faham, saya x pernah cakap english awak berterabur sebab awak bodoh. awak bacalah balik. yes, saya boleh terima human mistake. saya pun manusia jugak so saya erti tu semua. saya x cakap pun awak x boleh buat mistake. saya cakap satu tu je. english awak berterabur tapi it's not horrible. itu je. tapi awak dah melulu dengan x malunya pergi assume saya cakap tu untuk mecaci awak. awak x malu ke?

saya nak awak faham sekarang. yang saya cakap "KPOP related drama" tu bukanlah saya maksudkan post awak pasal drama KPOP. tapi "drama" dalam konteks yang saya maksudkan tu adalah kejadian2 dalam life you seharian. not KPOP drama. see? siapa yang salah anggap siapa sekarang? memang betul pun setiap apa yang awak post tu, awak kaitkan dengan KPOP. awak xperlu deny. kalau ye pun awak x puas hati sangat, apa salahnya kalau awak leave a comment kat post kawan saya tu instead of pandai2 sdiri buat conclusion merepek? kenapa? takut kena sembur? kitorang bukan macam awak fikir ye? kalau awak cakap elok2 xkan kami nak maki2 awak?

dahla. semua tu da lepas. saya rasa x guna kalau saya nak ulang2 apa maksud post saya kat blog kawan saya tu. xguna jugak. sebab awak xkan paham perspektif kami. awak tunggulah lagi 3 tahun, pastu baca balik komen saya. mungkin, then you will understand what we mean.

HOWEVER!! i will not retract my statement about you and SUSC. korang memang masih delusional and saya memang x suka. in fact, saya memang benci. awak spoil minat saya terhadap the 13 boys that i love. awak ingat saya bukan ELF jugak ke? kalau saya sanggup spend beratus2 duit saya untuk album SUJU n pergi concert diorang awak ingat saya pun x berminat dengan SUJU? tolonglah. saya faham tahap obses awak tu. saya memang tersangat faham. yang saya x boleh terima adalah tahap obses berangan awak sampai terbawak2 ke minidrama. ish... xsemenggah la. even kawan saya yang diehard SUJU fan pun geli tau x?

tapi oklah. saya bukan halang pun. saya cuma geli je. saya x suruh awak stop pun minidrama awak yang dah berapa episod tu. teruskanlah kalau itu yang awak suka. saya cuma boleh berharap that you grow out of it. because i can honestly say, it's a waste of time. baik awak spend your talents in writing, on more meaningful things than 'lee minho tercirit bau petai' yes, i read that short part towards the end and i was honestly disgusted. come on, you can't honestly tell me that you can be proud of writing those things?? but again, if you say yes, then i can't really stop you, can i? nor do i want to. not really. i don't even give a crap to be honest. the only reason i talked about it, was because the topic was brought up. so jangan ambil hati lah. there are far more horrible people out there than nani and nani. trust me. when you look back, you'll see that we're not that bad. if you can't handle us, then pray tell, how are you gonna face the big scary world out there? especially the internet world.

okay this final point aku memang bengang gila. kenapa awak nak kawan2 awak tu masuk campur something that's between you and me? mereka tu author SUSC jugak ke? if so, then okay. fine. tapi korang seriously mentally twisted.

saya nak nasihatlah. lain kali.... kalau korang x pasti lagi identiti seseorang tu, x payah la nak berani datang2 maki orang tu x tentu pasal. batrisyia tu, saya masih boleh telan lagi la. at least awak cakap pelan2. tapi si jalang mulut bau longkang "aksh" tu.... kau kalau aku jumpa kau, memang aku tampar mulut sialan kau. berani x bertempat. bodoh sombong. tulah dia.

[EDIT] ohhhh.... baru aku tahu. rupanya si inhae tu dah tipu korang. dia bagi link blog aku kat korang? kesiannye. korang ni memang terbukti kebodohan korang. aku berani bersumpah nyawa dengan Allah s.w.t yang aku x kenal si inhae tulah. BABI aku plak stuck dalam masalah childish korang. pukimak betul. padan muka aku ye? kau ingat aku terkilan sangat? tolonglah. padan muka koranglah da kena maki habis2an dengan si inhae jalang tu. sama je perangai dia dgn korang. xda beza mana pun.

korang ni memang childish la. aku xtau nak cakap apa lagi dah. so salah aku ke, si inhae tu bagi link blog aku kat korang??? kau x terfikir, aku pun boleh menyamar jadik orang lain then main petik siapa2 punya blog address ntuk letak kat shoutbox korang tu?? BODOH la. BODOH. mmg idiotic.

----------

salam.

woah!!

i never knew my opinion affects people in the most nonsensical ways.

lol. to whom it may concern.... i hope YOU boleh baca post ni dengan hati yang lapang.

kehkeh. let the fun times begin. you'll probably be fuming by the end of this. i guarantee it.

----------

i xtau kenapa you nak butthurt dengan apa yang i borak2 dgn kawan i, and nak bising2 pasal opinion i on that very GENERAL topic of discussion. maaf la kalau you x boleh handle frank opinions. we have sharp tongues. if you can't take the heat, stay away from the damn kitchen.

tp xpelah. i explain kat you pelan2 ye? you kan masih budak lagi. kesian kat you. this is my reply to you. okay? ^^

----------

first of all, i never even mentioned ONCE that i was talking about you, kan? xda bukti pun mengatakan aku cakap pasal kau. knapa kau terasa? oh, sebab aku ada describe something similar macam header kau tu ke? kau x terfikir ke mungkin ada orang lain yang ada header macam kau??? apa masalah kau sebenarnya? perasan ke? psycho?? tapi fine lah. since kau dah terkulat sorang2 macam orang gila, i'll be frank. YES. i based my opinions from your blog. puas hati? tapi ingatlah ni ye? i may have based it on yours, but i was speaking of it in general. aku xda follow orang x tentu pasal. aku xda rajin mana pun nak blog-hopping sana sini. aku x aktif blogging pun. lol. in fact, i even forgot about you the moment my friend and i finished our discussion. tapi x sangka ttbe kau yang terkinja2 nak reply post plak. which, fyi, i wouldn't have even known of, had my friend not informed me about it. lol. kau mmg perasan sorang2. kau fikir kau macam important gila ke bagi aku??? haha.

oklah, now that we've established that, kita boleh move on.

srsly, english you x berterabur? and NO ONE, EVER, said your english sucks? wow. bagus kawan2 you semua. lol. um, sorry to say kiddo... but it IS, mmg berterabur OKAY? besides, i did say it wasn't horrible, right? ke, you can't read? add that to delusional and what's there left to describe you as a functional, rational human being?? tolonglah. YOU yg xnk gaduh dgn i plak. WTH. (feeling immature sbb gaduh dengan budak kecik.) the past tense for hurt is hurt, not hurted. but okay human mistake. fine lah. aku accept. so now what? apa point yang you nak bawak ketengah dgn statement tu? apa yang aku cakap mmg straight-forward facts. english kau berterabur. kenapa you nak assume aku imply that you aren't allowed to make mistakes? ada aku cakap english you berterabur sebab you stupid? xda kan? assuming makes an ass out of you and me. my father taught me that. you'd do good to learn it as well.

kenapa? rasa sakit bila ada orang kritik kau punya language skill? ego kau tercalar ke?? sorry ye. masa saya umur awak pun saya xda nak sebut2 'hurted' ni. then suddenly come up with an excuse that you're just human. eh? tadi blagak sangat declare xda orang pernah kata english kau berterabur? bukan apa, english aku pun x perfect lagi. aku masih lagi guna google untuk tahu maksud words yang aku x familiar. tp kau macam...... wow. terbukti terang2an depan mata aku yang english kau berterabur tp kau boleh lagi in denial cakap nonsense bullshit macam, "no one ever said my english sucks. NEVER." eleh. hahaha! klaka la kau budak. jangan bodoh sombong ye??? nanti orang macam aku akn gelak2kan kau. x enak kan this feeling? being laughed at is not fun. yang bestnya, kau boleh plak patah balik nak carik alasan cover balik. eh, bley bla la.

senang cakap... siapa makan cili terasalah pedasnya, dongsaeng-ah. btw, apa plak aku yang create fanwar? bodoh punya statement. my point was that you're too obsessed with SUJU that you even participate in fanwars. as proven by your own posts. apa kena mengena tetiba aku yang join the fanwar ke mende? statement yang sungguh terpesong dari main point. fanwar tu bukan war antara fans abt the group ke? so apa kena mengena aku komen pasal blog kau tetiba jadi fanwar?? ada aku kutuk SUJU? ada aku kutuk ELF? eh, bijaknyelah budak kecik ni.

btw, org blajar pandai mana pun xkan terlepas dari kebodohan. tolong jangan nk start that shit with me. yeah, kawan2 KPOP you smua top 2 in class. and? your point is?? i never said one word about your studies being neglected. all i said was that KPOP was the priority in your life. that doesn't mean that you fail your studies. apa ke bengap? also, you nak ke i buktikan yang posts you tu semua related to KPOP?? nak? pls help me here ppl. are you FOR REAL with that 2posts out of 100posts thingy? kau ada macam penyakit sawan denial ke? maybe this is a severe case?? okay, so you say education is your top priority. fine lah. aku accept. aku bukan kenal kau pun nak deny statement tu. tapi tipulah kalau kau kata KPOP is not your priority kan? ada pernah aku mention yang education tu bukan priority kau? ada? x bukan? so apa yang bising2nya?

and suddenly the fact that "i'm not gonna marry him" makes it alright? so okay la berangan merepek pasal someone that could be your FATHER, as long as you're not marrying him? apakah?? and there you are sibuk2 kutuk pasal SHINee being illuminati lah and all that shit. but being paedophillic is okay? again. what the....???

also, "i'm not really into korean artists, i'm just a BIG fan of SUJU." LOL!!! um, so... SUJU isn't a korean artist? statement kau sudah severely contradictory bukan?? LMAO. don't embarrass yourself with these kinds of statements la ye? malulah. ish.

btw, you can drop your mature act. it's not working. i mean, kau cakap macam baik2 lah kan? konon2 macam kau x marah kat aku ke amende smua. tapi sangat obviouslah yang kau snanyea cam xley bla kan? xpuas hati ngan aku sampai nak buat blog post. ceh. xpayah la. ayat2 kau tu bau busuk dengan denial. puh-lease! malas nak pinpointlah. your entire post screamed of "defensive" okay? tolong. tolong. tollooooonglah. haha^^ btw, i'm not the one butthurt right now. YOU mentioned me in TWO consecutive posts. looks like i'm the popular one here. and xpayah nak thanks2 for the teachings. nak blagak boleh accept criticism plak ttbe. lol. your weak sarcasm does NOT work on me, kiddo. konon nak mengajar aku pulak.

yea it's your blog. lantak kaulah kau nak post apa. that's right and i'm not denying that. does it mean i have to LIKE your posts? NO. aku manusia merdeka. aku boleh ada opinion and in my opinion, i find you a bit pathetic that your life revolves around KPOP. but again, bukannya aku cakap opinion aku ni fakta. this is my judgement based solely on your blog. kalau my judgement salah, then aku terima lah. no skin off my back. my posts pun apa kurangnya? pasal KPOP jugak. aku x cakap being obsessed tu salah. i'm just saying it shouldn't be the priority. lagipun, ada aku suruh kau stop posting about apa yang kau post selama ni? x bukan? i'm just sad that you find nothing else more meaningful to post about on your blog other than KPOP.

you've got a lot more growing up to do, budak.

p/s: i do NOT hate you. tolongggglah. talking about you in ONE post response doesn't mean i hate you, nor does it make you bloody famous. i don't even KNOW you. it was unfortunate, but you were just the coincidental example towards the issue in general. aku x target kau sorang. my comment was aimed towards all delusional kiddies who need to wake up and realize, KPOP should not be your LIFE. and don't worry, i remind MYSELF abt that everyday, too.

p/p/s: aku mmg x follow pun blog kau and aku mmg x tringin pun nak baca blog kau yang aku find delusional and annoying tu. i was referred to it, and my opinion was requested. all i did was skim through the first page of your blog. got a problem with that?? kalau kau ada hak nak post apa yang kau post, then aku pun ada hak untuk form an opinion pasal posts kau. fair enough right?

p/p/p/s: NO. i do NOT find your post offensive. ROFLMAO. pleaselah budak kecik. it takes a lot more bullshits to offend me. i deal with crap like this on an hourly basis. your post was more like funny as freakin heck. lantaklah kau nak fikir aku ni kurang ajar ke, apa ke. i don't owe you anything. btw, if you consider my criticism sebagai cacian, then i'm sooooo sorry. too bad for you lah kan?

----------

ok, cukuplah tu. memandangkan aku pun da cakap apa yang aku nak cakap, you can go ahead and focus on your studies macam yang you sibuk2 nak declare tu. lol.

assalamualaikum.

peace.

dirty jokes.

i LOVE em.

----------

So... the elephant says to the camel, "Why do you have two boobs on your back?"

The camel replies, "That's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face."

----------
XD

END.

food for thought.

i really loved this random entry i found.

Gamer's Mentality

a really nice, accurate and a relatable (for me) way to describe LIFE.

do stop by and comment on that post.

thanks for looking^^

assalamualaikum.

my kinda guy.

hey guys, i got tagged on Facebook and here it is!

----------
Just copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and post it anywhere you want!^^ You can tag your friends to do it if you want.

if you're a guy - post this as "my kind of girl"
if you're a girl - post it as "my kind of guy"
to whichever gender you prefer, really.


1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
not really. as long as he looks cute and adorable in my eyes, it's fine.

2. Smart?
nope. as long as he can carry a conversation with me and talk to me abt things he likes with a strong passion, i'm good!

3. Preferred age?
he can be the same age as me, younger by 2-3 yrs or older by 2-3 yrs.

4. Preferred height?
don't care!

5. How about sense of humor?
MUST HAVE!! i can't stand booooooriingg people!

6. How about piercings?
em, nope.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
absolutely not. i mean, i'm not perfect and i have things abt me that are bad that i don't like either. and i strive to change that. so if i can't accept who i am, why should he? as long as he sees the good in me and tries to help me be a better person, then i'm all for it.

8. Pink hair?
if it fits him. lol. it can work. i've seen guys who pull that off just fine.

9. Mushy or no?
ergh! no. well, ok, yes. maybe. just not in public. pls?

10. Thin or fat?
i don't really mind. skinny guys are cute. but chubby guys are cute, too! but if he's thin, then woohoo! i'll force him to force me to not eat a lot. and i'll force him to eat a little bit more. then, we can be skinny together!

11. Black, Brown, Yellow or White (skin color)?
i like pale to tan guys. sorry, no chocolate for me. not racist tho. just not my preference.

12. Long hair or short hair?
long, short, shaved, half bald. i don't give a damn! go nuts! as long as the style fits him then i'll love it no matter what. (but if it doesn't fit him, i'll tell him to change it. keke^^)

13. Plastic or metal?
em, wood? lol. actually none. i don't like plastic nor metal.

14. Smells good?
absolutely. he's gotta smell GQ, baby. H-O-T!!

15. Smoker?
i'd prefer it if he didn't. but if he is, he CANNOT be one of those heavy chain smokers. if he can control it and isn't addicted to smoking, then it's cool, i guess.

16. Drinker?
nope. i want a guy who can drive me home after a night out. i don't wanna clean up his puke or have to take care of his hangover in the morning. no thanks!

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
NO.

18. Muscular?
yeah, totally. but no overdose. i like biceps, you don't have to have choco abs. lol. i like slim muscles. lithe and lanky boys. besides, if he looks good in a suit, then these things don't matter anyway. keke^^
(the BIGBANG boys are the range i would go for. keke^^ if he's more muscular than YB, then, no. if he's skinnier than jiyong, OMG. anorexic? no. jiyong is skinny enough already.)

19. Plays piano?
not necessary. but a definite plus if he does!

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
see 19.

21. Plays violin?
see 19.

22. Sings very well?
see 19.

23. Vain?
keke^^ vain guys are cool as long as they're not obsessed with themselves and they know their limit and appropriate situations where they can be vain. you know.

24. With glasses?
YES YES YES! even if he doesn't, he can wear those fake glasses for me. haha. preppy boys FTW!

25. With braces?
why not? doesn't matter.

26. Shy type?
shy guys are cute. hehe^^ with that said, i like the shy type to a certain extent. generally, i like confident guys who have their shy moments. too adorable! the key is moderation.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
rebel. all the way.

28. Active or passive?
ACTIVE! but he can be chill once in a while.

29. Tight or bomb?
i don't get this question. 0.o but to my own interpretation, i'd say both.

30. Singer or dancer?
both. hehe^^

31. Stunner?
definitely! bitches be jealous cuz i got a fine ass GQBAMF on my arms. haha!

32. Hiphop?
yep. but he needs to like other things too.

33. Earrings?
no.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
it's fine. as long as he's not a player. what? having a lot of ex-gfs doesn't mean he's a player.

35. Dimples?
aww~ cute. but it doesn't matter.

36. Bookworm?
that's nice. as long as he's not an annoying know-it-all. ugh. hate those types.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
yeah. sure. just a little bit. nothing fancy, alright?

38. Playful?
yes.

39. Flirt?
NO! not even with me. ew. it's just a turn off. i like straight forward guys. being flirty is a waste of time and ultra cheesy. nope. no way.

40. Poem writer?
ding ding ding~!!!! i love poetry. and in music, they're called lyricists. (jiyong!)

41. Serious?
no. SRSBZNS guys are kinda annoying.

42. Campus crush?
i don't prefer it. but it's ok i guess.

43. Painter?
YES! absolutely.

44. Religious?
yep.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
fun! just as long as it isn't insensitive. teasing can hurt real bad and if he doesn't know his words might hurt me, then we got a problem there.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
BOOOOOOOTTTTHHHHHH~!!!!!!! BOTH BOTH BOTH! but computer games geek more. actually, i just love gamers. be it computer games or consoles. gamers are HOT!

47. Speaks 20 languages?
yea! totally.

48. Loyal or faithful?
faithful. because if he's faithful then the loyalty will come with it.

49. Good kisser?
yes. he should be.

50. Loves children?
yes. haha^^ because i don't like kids. i mean, i LOVE kids... until they start to pull their ugly tantrums out. then, i'd shove the kid to him and he can handle them. lol. okay, that sounds mean. i'm sure my perspective would be changed if the kid was mine, so... yes. answer is yes. lol.

----------


THE END!^^ thanks for visiting.
assalamualaikum.

to all my readers! (if i even have any. lol XD keke.)

HAPPY EID MUBARAK!

hope you can forgive me if i have ever offended any of you personally or whatever wrongs i have done. i'm sorry. may you have a blessed celebration.

assalamualaikum^^

JENPOO! NOOOOOOO~!!!! TT^TT

OMG, JENPOO. IS. GONE!!!

damn.

.... i mourn.

NEW EVOLUTION

has anyone guessed yet what i'm gonna talk about today?? hehehe^^

(pssst! HANNA, colour background poster ney da mcm colour selendang awak jea. keke^^)

IT's 2NE1~!!!!!

NOLJA!!!

keke^^ sorry, but i just LOVE them a lot! OMG! i just love love loooove them. heheh.

alrightey! now for some introduction!

these girls are the brainchild of a certain mr.genius that fans alike, fondly call, Papa YG. or boringly, his real name, Yang HyunSuk. keke. anyways, YG owns a recording company called YG Entertainment and houses many amazing artists under his label. YG followers call these artists, YG Family and that includes the fans as well. oh yes!! 우리는 YG Family!!!

so, through years of searching and grooming, he formed 2NE1!! they debuted a year ago in a CF (commercial film) for the LG Lollipop mobile phone as a featured artist with none other than....

BIG BANG!!!!!

woohoo~!!!

they are amazingly multi-talented and are one of the fiercest girls in KPOP to date! their funky fashion and distinctly, fresh urban club style music broke the trend in kpop and garnered interests from general audiences and media all over asia. their influence in kpop became so strong in such a short time, they soon were dubbed the "hurricane rookies" based on their explosive performances and unbeatable charisma on stage, winning them awards on music shows for topping music charts within only a short time after their debut.

later in the year of their debut, they won 3 major awards at one of south korea's biggest music award shows. the awards are for Best New Female Artist of the Year, Best Music Video of the Year, and one of the three biggest awards of the ceremony, the Song of the Year award!

pretty awesome for rookies, no?? BUT! their achievements don't stop there! their debut mini-album was the 3rd highest selling album last year with 100,000+ copies beating out a formidable force that goes by the name of, SNSD, and ranked below only GDragon (my baby boo *3*) and the super seniors, Super Junior. (lol!XD)

AMAZING sisters are AMAZING!

now let me introduce the super awesome members of the group.

-----

Lee Chae Rin

A.K.A

CL (Ciel)

The Baddest Female

-----

Park Bomi

A.K.A

Bom

The Gorgeous Songstress

-----

Sandara Park

A.K.A

Dara

The Fresh Harmony

-----

Gong MinJi

A.K.A

Minzy

The Feisty Dancer

-----

and there we have it! the talented 2NE1 sisters!^^ woohoo!!

now, just how good is their music, really??

well, to me, their music is AWESOME!! but it really depends on your personal preference in music. if you would ask me to accurately describe their sound, i would say, they have a very mixed style of urban club hip hop fusion. there are lots of electro beats to their songs, which some might find too much and some might just love it. but whatever it is, they rock at what they do.

that being said, they are also a very versatile group. they aren't afraid to venture outside of their music zone and try different styles of music. whithin a year of their debut alone, they have tried genres of ballad, slow r&b and even reggae. and they did good! of course, i might be a little bit biased by saying that, but regardless, they aint too shabby. in fact, they were deemed good enough by YG himself to go into solo and duo acts only half a year after debuting. imagine that! not to mention, all solo/duo projects also became big hits with the kpop fan masses and were well received by the general public. not too shabby indeed, eh?

well, are you curious now?? good! here's a playlist of some their songs to get you an idea of what they sound like.

like it? no? let me know what you think. hehe^^

finally! i have nothing more to share with you guys about my lovely girls. hope you enjoyed my intro page about them. if not, TT^TT

jkjk!XD

anyways, for more info about their activities and their whereabouts or just about the girls specifically, please visit the 2NE1 SOOMPI THREAD!!^^

or... if you're a fan of them already!! (woohooo!) please feel free to join their international forum at;

YGLadies

(there used to be another international forum called YGSecret but they have since merged with YGLadies. so...yea! big family just got bigger!!)

that's it! thanks for visiting guys!

assalamualaikum.

the KPOP stereotype

ok, honestly speaking, i'm fucking tired of malaysian people stereotyping KPOP fans as shallow. I'M NOT SHALLOW lah, you jerks! srsly malaysians think [KPOP = SUJU = pretty boys] ....pffft!! while i think that SUJU isn't bad and i LOVE them alot, they're not the epitome of KPOP. far from it actually. cheh. and their good looks have nothing to do with why i love them. and even if i do admire their looks, what's it to you? i don't owe you anything. sengal ke apa?

normally i wouldn't be so pissed. but something happened the other day that i just cannot seem to let it go. it's srsly pissing me off.

ok, last sunday, me and my buddies went for buka puasa at JUSCO near my house. so after buka puasa, we went shopping a bit. one of them bought a rice cooker and the other wanted to buy a steamer. lol. so anyways, after walking around, i wanted to buy mobile credits for my phone, so i stopped by the maxis centre and then for the last stop, i went to the 'mynews.com' store to possibly buy a few things.

and so i was browsing through a few magazines and eventually ended up checking out the latest issue of epop and YG. they're chinese magazines that happens to have a lot of KPOP news. of course, i didn't understand a word i was reading (i wish i could) but pictures are always nice to look at right? especially if they're pictures of my favorite 어빠들 (oppadeul) no?

so, ok. i was flipping through the pages and gushing over how cute minhwan looked in that sweater and then pointed to an article abt hyungjun apologizing for the delay of his fanmeet to my friend who was also looking, when suddenly this dude -he works there- comes by and wanted to take something from the magazine stand. ok, fine. go ahead, take whatever it is you want to take. but suddenly, while he was grabbing for the stuff,

"faham ke baca tu?" he asked with a sarcastic look on his face. then i shook my head, "erm...." and i looked to my friend, she kinda just shrugged. dumbstruck, i had nothing to say of course, and then he continued, "ke.... tengok sebab handsome je?" at that question, my brows furrowed intensely and irritated, i just walked away.

that did it for me. how appalling! what the fuck do you know about KPOP anyways? don't judge something you have no knowledge of, please. makes you look, stupid and ignorant. some malaysians are always like this. pemikiran cetek. srsly annoying. i mean, what a double standard. hey, bro! as if you don't gush or drool over attractive women in magazines. grrrr...!

*breathes*

if i can find one thing i hate the MOST in this world, i'd say it's ignorant people like these. grow up lah. please!

aigooo~

thanks for hearing me out guys^^

assalamualaikum.

newnewnew!!!

NEW LAYOUTTTT~!!! chose minty green this time^^ hmmm... never thought i'd actually like the color. but it looks nice. >_<

waaa~ my head's spinning. layout coding is coooomplicaaaatedddd!!! keke^^ but super interesting. grr~ i wish i knew coding and CSS and shit. someone needs to teach me some basics.

thanks for dropping by guys!
assalamualaikum!

taemin??

OMFG! i'm obsessed with his voice now. HELP! *eheh*

go figure. jonghyun's my bias but-but.... somehow taemin took over jjong's voice. now i can't get it out of my head. sorry jjong. sorry onew dubu. but taemin's my fav voice now. heeee~

i still love all of you tho. don't worry.

assalamualaikum!^^

laying out

hello again! heheh!^^

just came back to say, i need to design a new layout and i don't know what to do. any ideas??

thanks for looking!

assalamualaikum!

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN.

assalamualaikum!^^

it's that time of year again. huhuhu. i know i'm late, but i just wanted to wish all of you;

HAPPY CELEBRATING THE MONTH OF RAMADHAN!!

make sure you fast for the whole month!! and the ladies, make sure you replace the days you can't fast. huhuhu^^

that's all!

thanks for dropping by!!

*shatters* yo ma HRTBRKR!!!!!! TT^TT

assalamualaikum!

be warned that you are abt to enter anguished obsessed fangirl territory.

----------

i just read this at ibigbang just now and it's safe to say i'm royally FLIPPIN OUT!!

>>G-Dragon is dating Japanese Model, Mizuhara Kiko

waaaarghhhh~!!!!!! TT^TT

even tho it might sound like a rumor, it feels like i'd be in extreme denial to not believe this. i mean, he's been practically glowing recently and you know how YGFam rolls? they keep it a secret and then BAM!! 6 yrs later, a statement comes out;

"i'm sorry i lied, but she's ma girl!"

just look at se7en oppa and hanbyul unnie. srsly!! i'm flippin out tho right now. I CANNOT SEEM TO ACCEPT IT! my heart is shattering and i'm just this close to bawling. i know, i know. i sound like an obsessed fangirl and i should feel happy for him. but I DO, just give me a month or FIVE. TT^TT

i knew this was a possibility! the songs, the lyrics, the possible couple rings! argh!! he even pointed out to her in ViVi magazine during a ViVi interview in japan! proven in THIS article.

*insert fangirl wailing and sobbing*

*sniffles*

i know i sound pathetic right abt now..... but my heart can't take it!!! and Ms.Kiko's only a year older than me.... that just makes it worse! cuz in my mind, in an alternate universe where i'm pretty and not fat..... i coulda had a chance with him! (fangirl daydreams.... pls don't hold it against me.)

i'm not gonna be in denial. i'm not gonna believe YG's "they're just close friends" statement because it's too obvious that they're not and my gut tells me it's true and i've already accepted the fact that he's dating this beautiful, gorgeous girl. TT^TT she even made a suspicious video!

see how pretty she is??? TT^TT

oppa, you're really my HEARTBREAKER.

*sobsob*

and then we have this little video of an interview. just watch, at 3.16.... he was being so obvious abt it tho. gaaaahhhh~!!

(you can watch part 2 on the channel if you want.)

.

.

.

.

.

..

..

...

...

....

.......................oh well. i can only wish what's best for him.

if he's happy then i'm happy too, i guess.

(although, if this turns out to be untrue after all, then consider this a premature breakdown moment for when it does become true.)

*sniffles*

----------

end fangirl rant.

a bitterswet day for GD stans in VIP land. TT^TT

my problem with GDragon

i know it's an old issue, but i just recently stumbled upon this blog post and it wouldn't let me reply, so imma reply here.

this is the blog post;

What's my problem with G-Dragon?

*click*

this is my reply to it.

----------

i'm a fan of GD and i do see the points you're making. i get it. but unfortunately i have to disagree with you on some points. i'm also a bit on the confused side of this whole ordeal. i believe and admit that the song does sound like 'right round' for a few seconds there, but at the same time, i honestly think the rest of the song is originally his. he may not be mozart, (i've never heard any GD fan say this btw. only you.) but he definitely has talent. and the thing abt this whole so-called plagiarism accusation is the fact that the part that sounds similiar is only the actual rap flow of the first verse. and as far as i know, you can't copyright a rap flow. the beat was vaguely similar, the lyrics are completely different and the whole vibe of the song was completely different. so, if you wanna call that blatant plagiarism, then your opinion, good for you.

people keep highlighting GD's rabid irrational fans, but i've seen a lot of smart arguments written in his defense by the more knowledgable GD fans and i see no one saying how brilliant their post was.

and YG never marketed him as a genius. it has never come out of his mouth saying this boy is a genius. i only recall YG saying he was impressed with GD's talents when he was really young. the only people i see making a hoo-ha out of him are the audiences themselves, the media, the people around him and the reporters. i have never called him a genius, i only see him as a very talented young man who is growing and learning, however he does have his genius moments and ppl who disagree are hypocritically biased themselves.

as for the repeated accusations, well, perhaps it was wrong of YG to credit him so much so early in the beginning with the songs he has laid his hands on. it was premature confidence and it was too early in the game to largely credit him. he was way too young when 'lies' and 'haruharu' came out and probably didn't know any better and i feel bad that he had to endure a plagiarism accusation at such a young age. however, that doesn't completely discredit him as one helluva talented song-writer/composer/producer. i, myself, do admit that GD's forte is rewriting songs. BUT, at the same time, he has also written a lot of other amazing songs for BIGBANG. why only focus on the scandalous ones? i say give credit where credit is due. (hmmm.... ironic. i know. sorry.)

and mind you, being accused of plagiarizing doesn't mean the person makes crappy songs. all the songs he's said to have plagiarized are all award winning songs and are great songs that are talked abt and are still played until today. they remain crowd favorites and are some of the more internationally well-known kpop songs ever. again, all the charges of plagiarism have been dropped therefore his credibility is still very well intact. the only people who refuse to accept this are the haters and the people much like yourself.

honestly, i think he just enjoys recreating a lot. putting his spin to things. that's the way he goes abt his fashion, too. he sees something and tries to put his own flavor to it. in essence, that's what art is. some people are just better at it than others. you don't just create a song out of nothing. it has to come from somewhere. GD just uses more from influence than others. he did that 'this love' remake, he did 'crazy dog' which was remade from seo taiji's song, he worked on the remake for 'last farewell', he also remade buddy YB's 'look only at me'. i think he just likes to do that alot. which totally gets him in trouble when something like this happens knowing how horrible the korean netizens are. i don't think he ever copies on purpose, i think he just is heavily influenced by what he listens to that sometimes it overflows into the songs he writes and gets him into trouble. which honestly to me, is always blown way out of proportion.

don't get me wrong, i'm not denying that it might have been unintentional copying on his part and i'm not gonna argue whether it's wrong or not. it IS wrong, what i'm arguing here is that, you people try to make it as if he copied the entire song when he didn't, make it out as if he totally ripped off the lyrics and the beats when he didn't, and act as if he's the ONLY artist in kpop to have ever done it. i think it's unfair that you target him and him alone. if you want to have a problem with GD, have a problem with ALL of those people plagiarizing out there. and btw, he has been cleared of the charges, whether you like it or not. which means the accusations have been found to be invalid. he even made a remix of 'heartbreaker' with flo-rida featured on it. if he truly did plagiarize 'right round' then wouldn't sony or whatever parties involved want nothing to do with GD? if he truly did plagiarize 'right round' why would flo-rida agree to a feature? doesn't make sense. it proves GD is innocent or at least only partly guilty.

and the other songs on his solo album accused for plagiarism are baseless hateful accusations. what's exactly so similar abt 'butterfly' and 'she's electric' hmmm? that one high note??? honestly, 'butterfly' aint anywhere near as plagiarized as 'heartbreaker' was to 'right round' and i could babble all day abt chord progressions and all that jazz, but you probably have more smart things to say abt that. similar?? yes. a blatant copy? hardly. even Oasis fans came out to say that GD isn't anywhere near a copycat as Oasis themselves were. and i quote;

>>"nobody in oasis would be offended by this GDragon similarity, there is one short vocal melody which is similar, the same vocal melody that can be found in the Beatles 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' btw. It's not theft, its just a fuckin jam"

>>"even though i love oasis, they ripped off this riff from Roy Orbisons "You Got It". that part of the 2 songs sounds way more similiar then that GDragon shit!" (note that this person even called GD 'shit' so definitely not biased right there)

>>"G Dragon's Butterfly sounds a little like this song... and this song sounds a little like 6 Beatles songs strung together. I'm really hearing While My Guitar Gently Weeps in the chorus."

take a look at this video and come back to me abt being original.

watch and then chill.

and finally, the problem i have with ppl who have problems with GD??

y'all make him out to be the worst musician on earth for having written similar songs or unoriginal songs, when other artists get away with the same things he does. hyori got caught, GD got caught. fine. accusations aren't completely baseless there. but you talk as if GD is the only korean to assumably plagiarize! emphasis on the assume, prz. he's not the only one, yet ppl make a HUGE freaking deal out of it, simply because he's the one you love to hate. i can spend 10 years of my life looking for little bits and pieces off a song that sounds exactly the same in another song yet none of them get the amount of hate GD's getting.

i honestly understand where you're coming from and i do think you make a very good argument, but again, reactions are blown out of proportion and hatred is misplaced. peace.

p/s: sorry my 2cents became longer than your entire blog post. sorry, sorry.

----------

yea, so that's all for my rant today. hehe^^

i have LOST myself.

woooo~ dramatic title. lols. i know. moody time. it's been a long while since i've come to this place to seek comfort.


----
i have lost myself. i need it back. where can i find it? what would i find if i do? would i be different? changed by the places and seasons i've passed through? or would i be unscathed and return in old memories lost?

i loved drawing with a passion. i used to immerse myself.... sink into it so much so that i completely forget who i am, where i am and how much time lingers by. completely unreachable beside my minds phantom fantasies and vivid illusions. now i barely hold a pencil to a surface.

i enjoyed writing things. poems. stories. lyrics..... even my deepest thoughts, even if they only last a pitiful moment before it gets torn and forgotten. now i write insignificant words along meaningless musings of an empty day.

i have lost myself within all chaos and discrepancies in life that refuse to rid themselves beyond all sight. i need it back. i need me.

need me. please.
----



lol. a little impromptu emo drabble. it's how i really feel though. lately it's just getting through day by day for me. i don't even know what i'm doing with myself. i get up, go to class and come back unsatisfied. studying used to cheer me up a lot. my brain gears turn and i'm like a well oiled nerdy machine. maths? peace of cake. chemistry? you got it! now everything's creaky and rusty. NOTHING satisfies me anymore. even eating! would you imagine? me? the notorious foodie. tired of food.

guess it all just boils down to needing someone. or an inspiration. a good good friend. someone like a sister. cuz i don't have one. or maybe a close family bond? ........nope. don't have that either. i come home and all i miss is my room.

dad isn't around. messed up and did some fucked up stuff i've never really cared about. mom just doesn't understand that i need her to be my friend. she just keeps pushing me away. breaking my heart with every word she says. my brothers have their own thing. they prolly don't even care about me. do i care about them? very questionable.

sum it up?

i have no family. i have a father, a mother and two siblings. NO FAMILY. my room is my home. not the entire house. i step out of my room and i'm on alien territory. neutral grounds.

i miss being with me. but who am i really? i didn't have a childhood. most of those years were spent sticking my nose between school books and being the kid that tries to please everyone. the over-achiever, the teacher's pet. someone else. was it me living through those days? i have my doubts.

i wish i had a sister. maybe i'd turn out different. someone i can talk to and tell my problems and fears and worries. someone to fight with, someone to protect, someone that would protect me. i just need someone i can talk to with earnest. i have yet to find that person. i dunno. maybe the problem lies in myself. i realize i'm not someone who can really open up about things. it's hard. you never know if the person you open up to would honestly listen to you, or whether they would just mute you out and ignore you till you're done and over with it. i wonder, do they really like to be with me? if they don't like me, then i wouldn't wanna bother them with my pathetic stories. i dunno.

this is why i'd rather be alone. within the comfort of my own thoughts. books. music. alone. it's better. i'm addicted to solitude, really. oh! but is that my problem, perhaps? maybe that's why people don't bother to ask me out? "oh, she'd rather hang out by herself anyway. why bother asking?" is that it? wrong guys. i love my friends more than blood. yea, i enjoy being alone. doesn't mean i wouldn't be hurt if you left me out of the group. it hurts, really. truly. terribly.

well, hopefully i find someone that would be able to help me find myself and stop me from losing my way. hopefully, i won't ever have to feel lost ever again. just need someone.

hopefully....

nuts crunchy crunchy nuts!!!